The Real Haunted House
by babybluecas
Summary: A demon, an angel and a vampire make the best haunted house in the neighborhood.


"I'm done." Cas moans, putting the knife down.

If he was human, his hands would be covered in calluses by now. As is, they're only covered in pumpkin mush. He gets them cleaned with a thought before turning his jack-o'-lantern toward Dean to present his work.

"What do you think?"

Dean gives him a thumb up. "Grab the next one and keep going."

Cas stares at Dean in horror. "Next one?"

"Yeah, next—" Dean cuts off as his eyes fall on the empty corner, drift to a huge pile of carved pumpkins on the table, then back to the empty floor. "Benny was supposed to bring more. Where the hell is he?"

Dean drops the spoon, shakes the orange goo off his hands, wipes the rest into a kitchen towel. He storms out of the kitchen calling out Benny's name.

"More," Cas blurts out, plopping down on the nearest chair. He grabs a bit of pumpkin pulp and shoves it into his mouth. "More pumpkins."

—

There are cobwebs in his hair, there are cobwebs in his beard. He's pretty sure there are cobwebs in his pants. They are fake, sure, sprayed out of a can, but it still feels like a party gone bad at Miss Havisham's. And Benny's just not that kind of vampire.

"I think that's enough cobwebs," Benny says, putting another layer of it in the staircase.

"There's never enough cobwebs," Dean replies, carrying a bunch of fake spiders in his lifted shirt. "Keep on sprayin'."

Benny keeps on spraying.

—

The mist rolls in the moors. Only there are no moors. There's only their yard. Or… there was, at least. Now there's only the mist flowing over what used to be their lawn. The yellow candle lights from the jack-o'-lanterns mark the path.

Cas doesn't dare to step off the stairs, in case he were to fall through the invisible ground and sink into the underworld.

From the garage door, Dean grins at him. "Looking good?"

Cas shoots him a smile and nods. He doesn't ask. He doesn't comment. He knows the answer he'd receive.

Between the railing, empty eye sockets of a skeleton stare into the depths of his grace.

—

Blood pools on the bathroom floor. Bloody handprints are smeared over the torn wallpapers. Across the corridor wall the writing warns to abandon all hope in red, bloody letters that never dry up.

None of it smells like real blood, none of it is real blood.

Benny follows the bloody footprints to the kitchen. He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a bag of AB+. For a second, he hesitates. Is that real blood? Or is it more of corn syrup or paint?

He pierces the bag with a straw, takes a whiff.

It's blood.

Time for a lunch break it is.

—

"I love you, Dean, but I'm not wearing this."

Benny stares at the attire lying on their bed. It's got an eyepatch. And a wide, pirate hat. The rest of it is even worse.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Though I was gonna be a vampire."

Dean gives him a toothy grin. "Vampirate."

"Of course." Why did he even ask? "I'd need a label on it as well."

"Vampire-pirate. Everyone will figure it out."

Everyone will not figure it out.

Benny gives out a growl. He gathers the costume into his arms to try it on. He leaves the eyepatch on where it lies.

—

Dean bends down to pick a candy off the floor. That's not a place for a candy to be. It must have fallen out of the bowl when Cas moved it from the kitchen to the hallway.

There's another candy on the floor, three feet farther. Dean picks it up.

There's another candy. And another candy. And another candy.

Dean picks them up one by one, stuffing up his pockets with them. That's really clumsy of an angel, leaving a trail of candy like some Hansel. Dean's gonna call Cas Hansel from now on.

He picks up the last candy off the rug and looks around to see if he didn't miss any. He finds himself in the living room. The candies were never in the living room.

He looks down at the rug beneath his feet.

"Son of a—"

"Sorry, cheri," says Benny, appearing out of the staircase with Cas.

"Devil's trap, really?" Dean snaps, betrayed. "In this house? What the hell?"

Cas steps forward. There's a white streak of a cobweb in his hair.

"We need to talk."

—

At the end of the street, at the edge of the forest, stands an old mansion. In it creatures live: an angel, a demon and a vampire. Come Halloween, the mansion turns into the awesomest, scariest of the haunted houses in the neighborhood.

"It's in the job description!" Dean argues, crossing his arms.

Cas mumbles, "Twenty pumpkins."

If he could sleep, his dreams would be haunted by pumpkins.

"Isn't it why we should lie low?" Benny asks. "We like this neighborhood."

Wariness. Unease. Understandable. The mortals cannot learn about the three so-called monsters residing on their street.

"Listen, babes, I get you." Dean leans forward, hands reaching out to both men. "But this is why Halloween is the best day of the year. No one will suspect."

"Special effects?" Benny sighs.

"Yeah." Dean smiles at him, wishing he could kiss him right now. "I promise."

Benny and Cas exchange glances. They read what they need in each other's eyes and nod in unison.

"Okay."

"Alright," Dean claps his hands. There's still so much to do before the evening. "Now get me out of this thing, you assholes."

—

The screams die down, the door closes for the last time. Dean turns the lock.

"That was a long evening," he says, but he doesn't look tired at all. There's a wide grin on his face. "Was it so bad, guys?"

Benny can't help but smile softly at his lover. This day was all about making him happy, after all.

With a roll of thunder, Cas appears right behind Dean, wraps arms around his middle.

"It was fun," he murmurs. "But I'm glad it won't repeat for another year."


End file.
